Welcome to the Fourth Edition of The Naked Roommate newsletter. This being the first virginity issue, we’ve officially lost our first virgin issue virginity. In a celebration of experiencing something new, this week I've included my first video blog where you can view the debut of a new song I call, "It's Time For You To Have Sex With Me." Now that you're thoroughly creeped out by the song title (the song has a message, I promise), I'd like to extend a heartfelt thanks to everyone who continues to help spread the nakedness by inviting friends and family to join The Naked Roommate Facebook Group and sign up to receive The Naked Roommate Newsletter.

In previous issues, I've mentioned the goal of one million members in the next million days. Unfortunately, in 2739 years we'll be unable to celebrate this moment due to the comparatively short human lifespan. Therefore, I’m shifting the timeline to one million members in the next 10 days. If everyone can invite 10,000 friends to join The Naked Group and sign up for The Naked Newsletter, we CAN get there. If you don’t have 5,000 Facebook or MySpace friends, 5 or 10 would help. The more people sharing in the nakedness, the more powerful and dynamic this forum will be. Your support is greatly appreciated.

So, how is your virginity is doing? Do you still pal around with it? Did you get rid of it a few years ago? Where ya keeping it? Where did you lose it? Did you give it away? Was it taken away? I wanted to know what college students are doing or have done with their virginity. So, I asked. And what happened next was that I was given access to more virgin stories than I could have dreamed of (not that I dream of stories having to do with what you’ve done with your virginity). THE VIRGINTY ISSUE explores the ISSUE OF VIRGINITY in college - keeping it, losing it, and accidentally misplacing it.

On a sidenote, if you’ve lost your virginity and someone offers to give it back to you by offering to sleep with you, that's just a lame attempt to sleep with you. Once it’s gone, it can’t be returned. Even if it could be returned by sleeping with someone, there’s no guarantee you’d get the right one back. Then you’d have to sleep with that person again to get rid of the wrong one and get the right one.

NEXT WEEK's ISSUE is HOMESICKNESS. Share your MOST homesick day in college, what you missed the MOST, and HOW you got over it. Send me your most personal stories. Remember, identities will be kept confidential (only your college and year in school will be included).

THOSE WHO LOST IT

THE STORY: I lost my virginity at the age of 15 when I was a sophomore in high school to a senior. She was hot and I thought we had something, but unfortunately I was nothing more than a hook up for her. The incident occurred in the passenger side of a Jeep Wrangler in an office parking lot. It must've been quite the sight for people leaving work late! I do wish it had meant a little more as soon after I was involved in a more serious relationship with someone who was a virgin and it would've been nice to share the experience with her.

THE STORY: I lost it at age 13 under an underpass next to Colgate. I thought I was "in love" and the guy kind of put it in my head that it was a good idea and we might never get the chance again... boy was he wrong. The only regret I have about it is that I wish it could have been with someone that treated me a lot better (he became abusive), but it was a learning experience so I wouldn't take it back.

THE STORY: I am still a virgin. I am not abstinent and do not plan on waiting until I am married. I do not even know if I will ever get married, but I most certainly would never marry someone I have not had sex with because I think you don’t have a complete perspective of who that person entirely is without that experience. I think that sex today is seen as "no big deal" and I believe that the youth of today does not consider the emotional and attachment aspects that go along with having sex and I believe that for this reason many people regret losing their virginity the way they did. There are a few HUGE misconceptions about virgins my age. First of all, many people think we are abstinent, but that is not always true, some people are simply waiting for the right person and deciding to take their time and wait it out in order to assure that they do not do something they regret. Another is that we are prude and unwilling to explore ourselves sexually. My answer to this is do not judge a book by its cover.

THE STORY: I'm a freshman in college and I have yet to lose my virginity. It's not that I'm scared to lose it or get pregnant or all that other scary stuff. It's more that I haven't found the right guy that would be worth it all. Since I have been here, I have met this wonderful guy and who knows, maybe he'll be the one, but I'm not going to let all the awkward looks and silences that I get from people when they find out I haven't lost my virginity yet get to me and change my mind. I'm beginning to realize that I have a self-respect for myself that some other people have misplaced or left behind. And I think I'll know when the moment is right.

THE STORY: I am saving my virginity. I am a Christian, and the Bible makes it pretty clear that it's a sin to have sex before marriage. However, in addition to that, I would not want to just give my virginity up to some guy I'm dating, I want to save myself and make sex all the more special. I plan on losing my virginity on my wedding night. I’ll date the person I marry for a while before we're married, so that I'm sure it's the right thing to marry them and to have sex with them. People can tend to look down on people who are virgins (more so guys than girls) and think they're just these prudes that don't have any fun. Guys often torment other guys for being virgins. However, this definitely isn't true. Especially where guys are considered, I know A LOT of girls who would love to date a guy who's saving himself for his wedding night, too, but the majority of guys who do this are picked on by their friends. I wish guys would realize that a lot of girls really want a guy who's a virgin. About the fun thing, just because you're a virgin doesn't mean you can't be a great, fun person to hang out with!

EXPOSING THE COLLEGE VIRGIN

The virgin is a unique creature that walks the classrooms, hallways, quads, fraternities and sororities of college campuses. The virgin is sexual and sensual, but yet, the virgin doesn’t have intercourse. When it comes to the sexual buffet that college can serve up, the virgin’s main course can be everything but intercourse. The reaction of those who choose intercourse is often one of blanket generalizations and gross misconceptions. While non- virgins are also extremely misunderstood, I'd like to pull back the covers and remove the blanket of generalizations hiding the true nature of the college virgin. For example, some might say...

VIRGINS ARE BORING: Some virgins are boring, but no more boring than non-virgins (once the sex is over). The majority of virgins eat, drink (in moderation), swear, shop, gamble, dance, and go bowling (they don’t bowl more than non-virgins). If anything, not having sex leaves a lot of extra time to do so many other things that those having sex don’t get to do.

VIRGINS ARE GOODIE GOODIE PRUDES: Some virgins are goodie goodies, others are naughty naughties. By NOT having sex, the virgin is forced to explore just about every possible way of being intimate without having intercourse (use your imagination). The virgin knows more about the body and the senses than one can imagine (again, use your imagination).

VIRGINS CAN'T FIND SEX: Anyone can find sex. College is filled with people who are drunk enough, lonely enough, and/or desperate enough to have sex (not a good thing). If a virgin wants to have sex bad enough, a virgin can hop a plane to Vegas and drive an hour, then pay someone to have sex legally (no, not recommended). It’s easier to HAVE SEX than to avoid sex. A virgin is a virgin by choice. All virgins are virgins by choice.

VIRGINS ARE ASHAMED OF THEIR VIRGINTY: Most virgins are proud not to have had sex with anyone. Some virgins even wear jewelry symbolizing their virginity. Other virgins attend college in Virginia (the only state with Virgin in it).

VIRGINS ARE SAVING THEMSELVES FOR THEIR WEDDING DAY: While there’s something to be said about first exchanging vows before exchanging bodily fluids, some virgins care more about meaning than marriage. Some will do it on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. It’s not the about the time or day, just the perfect partner

VIRGINS ARE ALL RELIGIOUS: Not having sex doesn’t make someone a nun or a monk, it just make them selective (assuming they aren’t in fact a nun or a monk). Virgins come in all shapes, sizes, and religions.

VIRGINS CAN NOT GET HERPES: Tell that to the virgin who got herpes and wrote to me via my advice column.

VIRGINS ARE UNATTRACTIVE: Watched Jerry Springer lately? Did you see the show when the disgusting person had sex with the disgusting person and the other disgusting person came out and beat the hell out of the two disgusting people? A person having sex doesn’t equal an attractive or desirable person. Virgins are some of the most attractive people on the planet who are hungry to share themselves with the right person.

VIRGINS ARE A BIG TURN OFF:If you’re looking for sex, this could be true. If you’re a virgin or someone who’s looking to share intimacy with a partner who is saving herself or himself, there is no bigger turn on.

VIRGINS and NON-VIRGINS of the world: Please take YOUR turn and expose more virgin misconceptions in The Virginity Blog (comments are all approved, so don’t freak out if it doesn’t post immediately).

Dear Harlan,

I'm a 23-year-old woman who just got out of a four- year relationship. I was sexually active with my partner and lost my virginity. My problem is with this new boyfriend I have now. He opened up and revealed that he would prefer a virgin as a girlfriend. The thought stuck with me. When he popped the question asking if I'm still a virgin, I said "yes." I'm afraid that I can't take back what I said about being a virgin, because I know he will leave me after knowing that I lied. I want to keep my relationship with him for the rest of my life because I love him. At this point, I have no intention of telling him the truth because I'm hoping there's no way he'll find out. Is there any way for him to find "that" out when we decide to do "it"? And will there be a way for me to fake it?

Almost a Virgin

Dear Almost a Virgin,

Let me guess what you were this past Halloween. A princess? No. A ghost? No. A lying fake virgin? YES! And you already have the costume. When will the lies stop? What else will you have to pretend to be to keep this relationship going? Should something else you've done in your past not align with his value system, do you plan on faking it and lying yet again? This can all be so easily avoided by coming clean now - tell him that you got nervous when he asked and didn't want to lose him, so you said you were a virgin. Then explain that it was a relationship of four years and it was one partner. Had you met him first, you would have had only one partner (him) now and forever. If after hearing this, he leaves you rather than waive his virgin requirement, he's the wrong guy. And that's the truth.