Welcome to Issue #31 of The Naked Roommate Newsletter: SUMMER RESEARCH IN A THONG. Welcome to the last issue of nakedness before the newsletter goes on summer break (the newsletter has a big trip planned to Cancun with a newsletter she met on eHarmony). At this point, I'd like to thank you for taking the maiden voyage of the USS Nakedness. It's been an amazing trip. We've laughed, we've cried, we've exposed our most intimate secrets. My hope is that over the summer you'll enjoy new naked experiences that you can share with everyone next fall. So, whether you're sitting on your ass or working your ass off, just make sure to spend the summer taking risks (while sober). Call it SUMMER REJECTION RESEARCH or SUMMER RISK-TAKING RESEARCH. Say what you feel, do what you want to do, and know that whatever the outcome, just taking a risk is a success (more in this week's Naked Blog). As you take your risks, I invite you to send me your risk-taking stories and results to harlan@helpmeharlan.com

As for the weekly naked newsletter, it will resume next fall. In the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts about this year's content - what you loved, what you hated, what you'd like to see next year. Also, please visit TheNaked Roommate.com over the summer and participate in the Naked Forums. I'll continue to update the site and Naked Blog over the summer. Just a reminder: the 2nd EDITION of The Naked Roommate is in stores. Also worth mentioning - this summer I'm putting together a NAKED TEACHER Facilitator's Guide for the fall (anticipated release). If you're interested in receiving information, please send me a note to: harlan@helpmeharlan.com. As always, I invite you to continue to spread the nakedness among friends, families, coworkers, parents, and strangers. Speaking of strangers and friends, I'd like for you to be my Facebook and MySpace friends. Also, if you're not already a member, join The Naked Roommate Facebook Group. With that, I wish you a very happy, healthy, and wonderful naked summer filled with everything you hope and desire. And remember, always wear sunscreen while enjoying your nakedness in the summer (especially in your thong).

SUMMER RISK-TAKING / REJECTION RESEARCH: What risk will you take? Once you take the risk, share if it went as planned? If not, why? Who are the people who helped you throughout the risk-taking process? What will you do differently the next time you take the risk? Share ALL the details! Sending stories means that you grant Harlan permission to use your stories in The Naked Roommate Newsletter, online, in books, and anywhere else Harlan's writing appears.

WHAT YOU NEVER EXPECTED:
I never expected that a professor would set me up with a classmate. But, weird as that sounds, my professor suggested that I ask out a girl in my class and we are currently in the nascent stages of a relationship. Go figure.

RISKING IT IN YOUR SUMMER THONG

Last week's blog entry was all about being comfortable in your thong (read it here). If you can't handle what's in your thong (emotional thong, physical thong, professional thong, academic thong, etc), you'll always hide or attack when a risk doesn't go as planned. The more comfortable you get in your thong this summer the easier it will become to take risk after risk. And when I talk about risks, I mean anything from approaching a stranger, talking to your boss, or demanding respect from an abusive partner. What I've seen is that 95 percent of the people in the world can't take risks. And most avoid taking them in college. And that brings me to the challenge I ask you to take on this summer. TAKE RISKS THIS SUMMER. To help you take risks in your thong this summer (most likely you will not really be in a thong, unless you're at the beach or working as a thong model, or hanging out with someone who enjoys it when you wear a thong), I've included a step-by-step approach. All I ask is that after you take your risk(s), you'll share the outcome with me so I can share it with the rest of the world. Call this The Summer of Rejection Research. The more comfortable you can become at taking risks, the less taking risks will seem like you're risking rejection; instead it will be about having the most amazing experience of your life. Here's what you do:

1. DEFINE YOUR RISK:
Figure out what you want to do or say. It can be as simple as telling someone how you feel, confronting an issue from the past, or dealing with family issues. Write down the risk and call it research (when you call it research you don't have to take any of it personally).

2. COME OUT OF REJECTION DENIAL:
Rejection denial is a deep dark dangerous place where you think that everyone you like should like you. When someone doesn't like you (or want to hire you, or is critical of you), there's a problem. But the problem is that you can't give anyone permission to not like you. This is called rejection denial. To continue with your risk-taking research, you must give the world permission to not ALWAYS respond to you the way you want the world to respond. Come out of denial and appreciate that not everyone will appreciate you and what you have to offer.

3. PREPARE FOR THE RISK:
What obstacles stand in your way? How can you overcome these obstacles before facing them? Who are the people you can lean on or turn to while overcoming the obstacles (these are the people in your corner)?

4. TAKE YOUR RISK:
Say it. Do it. Make sure it's not illegal. Make sure you're sober.

5. REACT, RECOUP, REPEAT:
If the risk goes as planned, cool. If not, instead of getting defensive or attacking, thank the person for being honest. Ask the person what you can do differently the next time around to get the outcome you desire (say it in your own words). If you discover there's something you can do, then repeat. If you hear something that upsets you, embrace it or change it. If you can't handle it, turn to the people around you who can support you. If there's nothing you can do to change the outcome, give that person permission to not respond how you would like them to and move on to the next opportunity. Recoup by doing things for yourself and leaning on the people closest to you (if you don't have these people, find them. Then take another risk. The moment you start doubting yourself is the moment you need to focus on training to be more comfortable in your thong. The more you repeat the risk-taking process, the sooner the focus will shift from facing possible rejection to exploring endless opportunity.

Like a boxer who enters the ring, you need to have people in your corner who will support you along the way. These people can be family, friends, professors, professionals, experts, and yes, ME. As you conduct your rejection/risk-taking research, send your stories to me via email to harlan@helpmeharlan.com, SUBJECT: Summer Risk-Taking Research. Remember, it's all research so TAKE NONE of it personally. Success is not defined by the outcome in this experiment -- success is being able stand tall in your thong (even if you're short) no matter the outcome. TAKING THE RISK = SUCCESS. Have an amazing summer!

Dear Harlan,

I would like to know your view on the best way to meet single women.

My problem is that all the women I meet have boyfriends. I don't like this town. I have been here for about 3 ½ years. I think it's much easier to meet people back at home, which is also home to yet another college. But still, my problem is that once I see a girl that I'd like to get to know, let's say at the mall, I don't know the best approach. Any advice would be appreciated.