Welcome to a Special Issue of The Naked Roommate Newsletter: THIS WEEK, WE ARE ALL HOKIES. This week has been challenging and chilling. I can't even articulate the pain felt by students, families, and college professionals. As we get to know the victims and the details continue to surface about the killer, how to move forward is the challenge we all must face. Even if we didn't personally know the victims, we know the victims. We all know an RA like Ryan Clark, a guy always with a smile who would do anything to help. We all know a professor like Liviu Librescu, a legend in his field of study who taught because of his passion for learning. We all know a woman like Reema Samaha, a dynamic, charismatic, and freshman full of life. We know them all. It's impossible to not be jolted by these events. The pain is real, the loss is incomprehensible, and the emotions we are feeling are overwhelming.

Personally, I've had a hard time this week. I'm deeply troubled by so many issues surrounding this event. One issue that's come into sharper focus since the release of the photos and videos is the attention the media is giving to the killer. As a journalist, I know that pictures and videos are newsworthy, but no one needs to see the shooter pointing a gun in our faces, wielding a knife, or ranting for several minutes. Let the FBI profilers and experts analyze the data. Let the health experts communicate the lessons learned. But all these words, pictures, and videos just serve to accommodate the shooter's agenda. It also gives those who look up to the shooter as a hero more than enough ammunition to fuel their rage and future events. This has to stop. To help raise awareness and send a message to those informing the world about this story, I've started a Facebook Group titled, SURVIVORS TAKE BACK THE POWER. I invite you to join and spread the word around the world. Also, I encourage you to voice your opinions by posting comments on the NBC News site and contacting other media outlets (NBC is not the only one responsible).

It's been an emotional week for so many. When my emotions get stirred, old feelings and new feelings begin to surface. Out of respect to those who have lost their lives, I feel a personal responsibility to face all these feelings. I think we all have an obligation to give voice to these feelings and face them in a healthy way. To suffer in silence is to add to the tragedy. And at the core, it's suffering in silence that started all of this. I want to personally invite you to share your thoughts and feelings as part of the TOTW discussion boards. I also encourage you to contribute to one of the thousands of Facebook groups or a blog that speaks to you. It's all about speaking. Speaking of speaking, if there's something on your mind (Virginia Tech related or not) speak up and break the silence. Talk to a therapist in your school's counseling office. Consider talking to a teacher, a parent, a brother, a sister, a friend, a residence life professional, a spiritual leader, or anyone else who will listen. Just talk. Pay tribute to those who have lost their lives and honor your life by speaking with words, not weapons. Please take care of yourself and please take care of each other.

As always, feel free to forward this newsletter to friends, family, classmates, and colleagues. Just a reminder, I'm always up for being your Facebook friend and MySpace Friend and having you as part of The Naked Roommate Facebook Group.

NEXT WEEK's TOPIC: SEXUAL ASSAULT. Have you or a friend been sexually assaulted? If so, what happened (share all the details)? What's lessons have you learned from this experience? What advice would you give to other survivors? Share ALL the details! Sending stories means that you grant Harlan permission to use your stories in The Naked Roommate Newsletter, online, in books, and anywhere else Harlan's writing appears.

THE STORY:
It disgusts me to no end that people would actually have the heart (or lack of) to plan a shooting spree, but more or less follow through with it and end 33 lives, and injuring more. These targets were some of America's finest - college students, future attorneys, doctors, teachers, etc. It was a normal day for them. They woke up on a typical Monday, only a few weeks away from graduation for some of them. They woke up, walked around campus, and attended class, not knowing what was about to happen. The heartless side of me wishes the gunman didn't take his own life. I wish he would go through the court system, spend years and years of his life in prison, only to be ended by a lethal poison entering his body, all at the order of a jury of citizens who will never forget April 16th, 2007. My thoughts and prayers are with those who are associated with Virginia Tech.

BREAK SILENCE WITH WORDS, NOT WEAPONS

On Tuesday morning I saw the face of a killer. I won't use his name. He doesn't deserve to have it mentioned. What I saw is someone who looks like every other college student I've met while traveling from campus to campus. Some people have referred to him as evil, but this isn't a story about evil. It's about sickness, it's about a student incapable of coping with life, and he's just one of many among a population that often suffers in silence. The silence has been broken and college life has changed forever.

In the words of a student at Roger Williams University, "All I keep remembering about yesterday is when my roommate said, "School shootings are supposed to happen in high school. You'd think, being in college, people are so much more mature and don't do shit like this." I just want to scream, "SCHOOL SHOOTINGS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ANYWHERE!"

It's almost like we expect this to happen. One student even joked about it. While combing Facebook I read posts from students grieving their loss. As part of the discussion I saw a link to a Facebook Group titled: "You've most likely heard of the deadliest all- civilian shooting rampage in U.S. history, Virginia Tech; I'm willing to make that the second deadliest all- civilian shooting rampage. The person posting the note marked each membership level with an action that he or she will perform:

If 100,000 members join: I'll run into a full lecture hall, guns blazing.
150,000 (members): I'll post pictures!
200,000 (members): I'll set up a camcorder and upload the vids.
1,000,000 (members): I'll fly a plane 9/11 style into the Burruss Hall."

The group has since been taken down, but it's disturbing to even imagine that someone would choose this type of attention as a method of coping. As someone on the frontlines of college life I can tell you with certainty - there is a population suffering in silence. Countless students are on the cusp of hopelessness, unable to cope and get comfortable with the uncomfortable that comes with being a teenager making the transition into adulthood. Of course, the vast majority of these students who blend into the crowd won't resort to gun violence. Most will find other ways to cope -alcohol, drugs, gambling, hook-ups, unhealthy relationships, the Internet, online porn, eating disorders, or a combination of these. They learn to cope in a world too far from their family to notice their behavior, too far from friends who can intervene, and too far from familiar faces and comfortable places.

College can naturally be uncomfortable at times. It's 90 percent amazing, but 10 percent difficult. It's the students who can't cope with the 10 percent that end up suffering, often in silence; which consumes 100 percent of their time. Over the years, their anger and resentment simmers. Being so uncomfortable makes it impossible to handle the unavoidable adversity that comes with living life. And the idea that not everyone will always appreciate, include, and desire them sets them off. Rejection stirs the pot. Eventually, it reaches a boiling point. Then the silence is broken.

We need to be there for each other. We need to make these tragic events at Virginia Tech an opportunity for students suffering in silence to break the silence with words and not weapons. If you are in pain, speak up and get help. If you know someone pain, speak up and help that person get help. Tell friends, tell family, tell counselors, tell residence life professionals, tell professors. The face of a student, the face of a killer, the face of an addict, the face of someone struggling with life -the faces all look the same when those faces are suffering in silence. We must speak up and break the silence.

Dear Harlan,

I know what I'm feeling right now is what is expected for any teenager, but why is it so much for me? I feel suicidal, but I know I would never do anything about it. I cannot get along with my family, and I'm struggling to get up for school in the morning. I failed my college-entrance test, and I can't find a real boyfriend. I get paid minimum wage when I know I deserve a raise, and I have bad skin. I hate feeling like this lately, because I can't help my friend who is very suicidal.

My parents believe I have obsessive-compulsive disorder, as it does run in my family, and they are trying to force me into taking medication. I feel like all these things are the things a teenager feels because this is how it is. If that's true, then why does it feel so strange? Why do I feel like the only one who has all this? I know other people have problems, but really, I can't see it in them like I can see it in myself! Thanks much for listening.