Welcome to Issue #24 of The Naked Roommate Newsletter: PICKING IT (part 1). We’ve all picked a lot of things over the years. It all starts with our noses, then it’s our friends, then it’s our NCAA brackets (why the hell did I pick Oral Roberts to win it all?). But, there’s no pick bigger than picking a college to attend.

The reality is that roughly 30 percent of students will not return to the same college their sophomore year. The reasons can vary, but a lot of times it’s because these students never had easy access to other students who could have helped supply them with vital information. To help collegebound students choose the right school, I’m asking for your help. If you're currently attending a college or university, please make yourself available to students with questions by becoming my Facebook friend. By becoming my friend, it can be assumed that you're open to answering questions from high school students interested in the school you currently attend. If you’re someone in high school, you can request to be my Facebook friend and then contact me and/or my Facebook friends with your college questions. I hope this helps you pick a winner. As always, I encourage you to please forward The Naked Newsletter to friends and family. Also, consider joining The Naked Roommate Facebook Group. Thank you!

NEXT WEEK’s TOPIC: PICKING THE COLLEGE MAJOR - What's your current major? What majors have you had in the past? How do you pick THE PERFECT college major? Share ALL the details! Sending stories means that you grant Harlan permission to use your stories in The Naked Roommate Newsletter, online, in books, and anywhere else Harlan's writing appears.

THE STORY:
There were only two things that mattered when I was picking a university: it had to have a good international relations program and it could NOT be in Missouri. I was a military kid and I had been forced to move to Missouri and there was no way I was going to stay there. I wanted something different. So, I did what all rational prospective college students would do. I Googled. I came up with the University of the Pacific in my search. It had an international relations program and it was most definitely not in Missouri. I had never been to California before but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Why not travel half way across the country to go to a school I couldn't afford to go out and visit? It had what I was looking for so why not chance it? So I did. I took a risk. The program was great and the location was better than I had at the time. I got lucky. The school was amazing. My program was more than I could have hoped to ever find. I love the people in the program and I love the professors. Everyone is extremely close-knit. ... but seriously! I found out about it through GOOGLE. What the hell? I'm sure I would have come to the same conclusion and wound up at the University of the Pacific anyways. But I have to admit that, while Google is a fantastic source of information, it's probably not the best way to pick a university.

PICKING IT (college, not your nose)

I’ve picked a lot of things in my lifetime — blueberries, apples, peaches, cards, teams, a number between 1 and 10, scabs (only mine), my nose, wedgies (again, only mine), crusties in my eye, and food in my teeth, but picking where I’d attend college was one of the most important picks.

How I made the choice was simple – I chose a big school because my brothers had gone to big schools. That’s just about it. And, I ended up transferring from one big school to another big school. Transferring isn’t a bad thing, but it’s a preventable thing. My problem wasn’t the campus; it was that I didn’t know how to find my place once I got on campus. By the time I found my place, I had already found another school.

I never knew that finding my place in college would actually take work. I just thought everything would naturally fall into place (like in high school). But it took effort (especially on a bigger campus). And this is my advice - when figuring out the best college to attend, MAP OUT A PLAN regarding what you want to do once you get on campus. Mapping it out means answering the following questions, or at least thinking about them. What activities and organizations are important to you? What kinds of classes interest you? I’m not talking a career; I mean do you like the sciences or literature? Do you like math or communication? Do you like the outdoors? Do you see yourself being active in campus politics? If you are on the debate team, is there a debate team on the campus you’re looking to attend?

I’ll never forget this one guy I met at a campus that I’ll call Anonymous U. The student at AU was wrapping up his freshman year and told me that he was going to transfer. I asked him why and he told me he was a debate champion in high school, but at AU there was no debate program. He only figured this out once he got to campus. So, he wanted to go to a school where he could debate. This is what I’m talking about when I mean MAP OUT A PLAN. Look at what you love to do and make sure you can do it at the college you attend.

If you’re someone struggling between two amazing choices, just come up with a system and choose one of them (put tape on your body and roll around on the acceptance letters and pick the one that sticks). The truth is that all of your choices might be amazing options. Unlike dating, you can’t date several colleges at once. So pick one and commit. If you don’t know what you love to do, find a campus that offers options. If the only thing you love to do is your boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t let that be the determining factor. Assuming you get married in the future, you’ll want to have interests independent of each other. Doing this is much harder when you’re on the same campus (your only major tends to be each other). And should you two ever need “a break,” you DO NOT want to be on the same campus as your ex.

I’ll end this blog with an invitation to students in the midst of figuring out the best college to attend -- please feel free to contact me and/or my Facebook Friends at any of the colleges that interest you. Send us your questions and see if we can help. If you are in college and not yet my Facebook friend, please request to be one. I’ll do my best to connect high school students with students attending the colleges that interests them. Send me a note or request to be my friend and we’ll go from there. I hope I can help you pick a winner.

Dear Harlan,

My boyfriend and I started out as an online relationship. In the past 17 months, we've met and stayed together for weeks in summer and over breaks. Next fall, I'm going to college. We've talked it over millions and millions of times. I would go to a college with him, staying in my own dorm room. I did, however, apply to a school in Washington. I didn't think I'd get in AT ALL ... until I got the acceptance letter today. YES!! And it's a great school. But I truly want to be with him. My overprotective, disordered parents are leaving subtle hints that they don't want me to go to the same school as him. It's to the point where I can't decide if I really want to go to the better school, or if it's guilt that's keeping me in this uncomfy split. My guy tells me to do what I feel is right. I'm just too emotionally weak to burst anyone else's bubble, especially my overprotective parents'. UGH! Where do I find the guts to make the right choice?