Welcome to Issue #15 of The Naked Roommate Newsletter: REJECTION AWARENESS . As the founder of Rejection Awareness Week this issue is very close to my rejected heart. Rejection is a natural part of life that’s rarely exposed. It’s as normal as breathing. In fact, it begins with our first breath after we’re rejected from the womb and continues throughout life. Our formal rejection education begins in elementary school, middle school, in high school, and college. Friends reject us. Dates reject us. Family rejects us. Coaches reject us. Teachers reject us. Colleges reject us. Employers reject us. If there is ever an element of life that we all share, it’s rejection. The time has come to celebrate rejection and raise rejection awareness. Please do your part during the weeks leading up to Rejection Awareness Week and share the stories of how you took THE RISK and found love (how it happened, where it happened, what’s happened since). I’ll share the best R.A.W. stories as part of the Rejection Awareness Week celebration. You can share your risk-taking stories by visiting RejectionAwareness.com.

As always, please spread the nakedness via The Naked Roommate Facebook Group, TheNaked Roommate.com, and by forwarding The Naked Newsletter.

NEXT ISSUE: Alternative Spring Breaks - what’s THE BEST alternative spring break you’ve participated in? What did you do? How did you get involved? What made it THE BEST alternative spring break ever? . Only your college and year in school will be included. If you want to remain anonymous, just let me know when submitting your stories. Sending your stories means that you grant Harlan permission to use your stories in The Naked Roommate Newsletter, online, in books, and anywhere else Harlan's writing appears.

THE STORY:
I was in love with a beautiful and brilliant young woman during my first year of college. We became very close friends due to our mutual interests. For months I wanted to tell her how I really felt about her but I always put it off. I was a freshman and she was senior and very quickly she graduated and left. Of course I was sad about this; however, I thought this could be a good chance to get over her. I was very wrong. My passion for her continued. It didn't help that we were still communicating through email and I always became excited when I received an email from her. Last month I wrote her a love letter but the package was stolen. So when she came to visit our college, I decided to confess then. I told her that I wanted to talk to her alone to which she agreed to. We bought drinks at our cafe and went outside. At first we just had small talk like talking about the classes I am currently taking. Finally, I brought up the subject of my package. She asked what was in it. I had put various gifts inside as well as my letter. I told about those gifts before I got to the letter. I paused and she asked me what the letter was about. I am a very shy person so I actually wrote it down. I folded the paper in half and gave it to her. She read it and said, "Oh Tiffany." I was so scared of rejection that my hands were shaking and I couldn't look at her.

Sure enough her next words were, "I think you’re beautiful and a wonderful person but I think of you as a sister." I was heartbroken, of course, but overall my rejection went okay. It could have been a lot worse. She still wants to be friends with me. I am grateful about that because she really is a great person to hang out with. However, being around her and just thinking about her hurts. I am glad that I took the risk because now I know for certain that she doesn't love me. I'm not constantly holding on to a hope that never existed. I know there is nothing wrong with me and I have many blessings in my life such as my wonderful family and friends. Also, I'm going abroad this year (in four months) to Germany and I can't wait! I'm proud of myself for telling her because it was my first time ever telling somebody my true feelings

THE BONDS OF REJECTION

I can tell you with 100 percent certainty that everyone reading this has been rejected. Some of you were rejected today. Some of you will be rejected tomorrow. Some of you are being rejected as you read this (ouch). Some of you have been rejected by strangers, some by lovers, some by family, some by friends, and some by yourself (we call that masturbatory rejection). The undeniable, irrefutable, and universal truth of nature says that we will all face rejection. This law of nature is called The Universal Rejection Truth.

The URT is defined by the following: No matter how beautiful, talented, or desirable you are, not everyone you want will always want you. Millions will, but millions will not.

The Universal Rejection Truth is all around us. It’s unavoidable, but yet, most people will do everything possible to avoid it. It’s the reason we have to have a friend tell our crush that we’re interested (we need a buffer from The URT). It’s why we have to drink so much in order to find the balls or ovaries to make the first move (the more we drink, the less we fear the URT). It’s why we obsess about people from a distance (on Facebook and MySpace), but rarely speak to them face-to-face. It’s also a reason why American Idol has such universal appeal. Idol is the ultimate testament to the Universal Rejection Truth. It’s a rejection extravaganza. Sure, we love the talent, but we love the rejection. Rejection is a common bond that crosses all races, religions, and borders. The truth is that we have all been rejected at times. Some of you might think rejection is a bad thing. But think again. Rejection is just another step closer to getting where you've always wanted to go. See Jennifer Hudson step up to the podium last night to accept her Golden Globe? Rejected Idol my ass.

The problem is that most people looking for something more in life (like love) can’t face the Universal Rejection Truth. But in order to take risks and get to where we want to go, we must risk facing The Truth. So, rather than fighting The Truth, the answer is to try embracing The Truth. Give friends with whom you want "more" permission to not want more. Give employers you want to employ you permission to not always employ you (the first time around). Give your significant other permission to not always want you when you want to be wanted. To expect the world to always like you is to live in a world of rejection denial. Rejection Denial is a deep, dark, dangerous place where you think everyone you like should like you. When someone doesn’t like you there is a problem. But the problem is that you can’t face The Universal Rejection Truth.

As an advice columnist for the past 11 years and someone who has faced thousands of rejections and lived most of my 20s conducting rejection/risk-taking research, I can tell you that the world is filled with millions of attractive people who want to experience love. Yet, these people are unable or unwilling to take the risks needed to find love. And then, when Valentine’s Day approaches, instead of seeing a world filled with endless opportunity to take risks, they only see a world filled with opportunities to feel disappointed and let down. What they can’t see is that love is out there, but they need to take THE RISK to find it. Not just one risk, but risk after risk, after risk...

In an ongoing effort to help raise awareness and encourage those longing for love to take THE RISK, I’ve declared every February 7-14 Rejection Awareness Week. This February marks the 5th Annual Rejection Awareness Week.

To prove that love is really out there, I ask those of you who have taken THE RISK and found love to share your story (where, when, how, and the results). As R.A.W. '07 approaches, your victories will be the driving force to help those looking for love to find the courage to take THE RISK. Because really, the greatest risk is NEVER taking one!

Thank you,
Harlan Cohen
Founder of Rejection Awareness Week

Dear Harlan,

I wrote you about a month or so ago because my boyfriend had broken up with me and, in short, my life fell apart. I was devastated. I wanted to marry him and for two months after the breakup, I woke up every day feeling like someone had broken my heart into a million pieces. I cried all the time and always thought about calling him and begging him to take me back (despite the fact that he had treated me VERY poorly during our relationship--I just couldn't recognize it at the time because I was so blindly in love with him). Well, you never replied, but I wanted to e-mail you and tell you that I read the Rejection Diary entry titled "Emotional Body Slam." And that was EXACTLY how I felt. I thought I would never be happy again.

But guess what? I am now. I am finally no longer in love with my ex. I don't think about him anymore. I don't have the urge to call him--ever. I haven't cried about him in weeks. I'm no longer the same person he dated and broke up with--I respect myself and my self-esteem is back. I am so, so much happier now and while I sometimes miss being in love, I know I don't miss him. But I wanted to say thank you for your Rejection Diary. Because that letter really helped me and made me realize that even if life was hard at the time, it would eventually get better. Even if eventually took several months and a lot of Kleenex.

Thanks for all your help!