Welcome to Issue #12 of The Naked Roommate Newsletter - WINTER BREAK: Working It. It's almost winter break. You can smell it in the air. You can taste it in the snow (or in the frozen food aisle of the grocery store if it doesn’t snow near you). Yeah, it’s almost time to bust your ass and make some cash or sit on it and watch the Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman claymation special. Winter break for me was anything but a break. I waited tables at Baker’s Square Restaurant (come for the food, stay for the pie). In four weeks, I’d make about $2000 Then I’d spend it over the course of the semester. Some of you will work, some won’t, some might just play scratch off lottery tickets and hope to hit it big (speaking of hitting it big, I’ve entered “The Syphilis Song” as part of a Yahoo! Talent Show contest. Please vote for me and share the link with friends). If you don’t have a job during break and want one, it’s not too late. I hear that UPS is hiring over 1200 workers. It pays well and you get to wear brown (who doesn’t look great in brown?). Best Buy plans to hire 22,000 seasonal workers (who doesn't look great in blue?). Target plans to hire 80,000 people (who doesn't look great in red?). As for other jobs I wish I had, check out the left margin (look left). As always, please continue to let people know about The Naked Roommate Facebook Group and sharing The Naked Roommate Newsletter. Now, on to working it over break.

NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE: FREAKIN' FINALS - Share your Final Exam SHOCKING STORIES (how you slept through it, failed it, passed it, freaked out while taking it, etc...). SHARE YOUR BEST TIPS, STRATEGIES, SECRETS FOR PASSING FINALS? Only your college and year in school will be included. If you want to remain anonymous, just let me know when submitting your stories. Sending your stories means that you grant Harlan permission to use your stories in The Naked Roommate Newsletter, online, in books, and anywhere else Harlan's writing appears.

THE STORY:
I’m working at Target doing the overnight shift. My shift starts at 11pm and I don’t leave until 7:30 am. I get paid anywhere from $10.08 to $15.04 (time and a half). It’s actually a really good time. Really early in the morning when there’s nothing to do we’ll put on skates and ride around the store.

RETAIL SHOPPING FUN

I like asking people who clearly don’t work in retail stores questions about the merchandise in the store while doing my holiday shopping. I pick out shoppers who look the most unlike someone who works at the store and ask them a variety of questions as if they worked there. I find it to be the most entertaining part of holiday shopping (a perk of not shopping online).

I started doing this when I realized that most of the people shopping in the stores are just a job application away from being on the other side of the counter. For example, I was in Target looking for a heating blanket and I asked a sales associate to help me find the safest one. She picked up the box, looked at it and then said, “This one. It says it right on the box.” I asked if she sells a lot of them. That’s when she told me it was her first day, but she bought one last month. The same thing happened at Wal-Mart. I was looking for canned peaches. I asked a blue-vested person for directions. Expecting a Google type instant reply, I followed her around the store as she read the signs hanging over each aisle. I mean, I could have done that. That’s when I realized that I might be better off just asking the people shopping at the store.

What surprises me the most is that many of the people I ask get irritated. It’s as if they’re offended that I might think they work there. The more surprised they react, the more I can't seem to understand that they don't work there. I’ll typically start by asking a simple question about the item. For example, “Excuse me, does this have a warranty?” This usually prompts an, “I don’t work here.” Half-listening I'll ask the same question again. This prompts another, “Still don’t work here.” Immersed in my purchase, I’ll ask, “Is this going on sale soon?” As they walk away in disgust, I ask them to get their manager. If I’m fortunate enough to run into the same person again in a different department, I’ll ask if they ever found out if the item was on sale yet. I don’t understand the problem in asking. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being mistaken for an employee. When someone it happens to me, I try to be helpful. I once picked up the intercom and asked for a price check (I was then politely asked to leave by the management). But I couldn’t help it. This is what the holiday season is all about — giving, sharing, and being helpful.

To wrap this up — when asking for help at a retail store during the holiday season; ask how long that person has been working there. If you discover the person you’re asking for help isn’t an employee, continue to ask your questions. Should that person respond, “I don’t work here,” keep asking your question. That person may not be able to help, but it makes for an extremely entertaining shopping experience.

Dear Harlan,

I work at a retail store, and I am very upset about the way customers treat employees. They scream and yell when they don't get their way. There is so much anger within these customers. We are told by management what we cannot do, and they change policy to suit customers. I believe customers are always right, but when we are verbally abused and sometimes assaulted, does that mean they're right?

Angry customers can berate retail workers, but not assault them. That's not allowed. So should you happen to have a Harry Potter book thrown at you, tell your boss and alert the authorities (after regaining consciousness).

As for the angry shoppers, when working in retail, dealing with miserable people is part of the job. Do NOT take it personally. Rude customers are just joyless, unhappy people with little to celebrate in their own private lives. Rather than getting upset by them, get happy. Do it out of sympathy, or just because miserable people hate happy people. The unhappier the person in front of the counter is, the happier the person behind the counter should react. Answer attitude with a smile. Nod your head in agreement. Say things like, "Oh yes, you're so right." Smile brightly until the transaction is complete. Once the customer leaves, privately tell your co-workers what you wish you could have told the idiot customer (make sure it's out of earshot of other shoppers). And should you find yourself getting upset later in the day, remind yourself of the unremovable security tag you "accidentally" left on the merchandise. That's a happy thought.