WELCOME TO THE FIRST NAKED ROOMMATE NEWSLETTER To start off this year's newsletter, I wanted to do something shocking. So, I stripped down to my Speedo and asked college students around the country the question, "What was the most shocking thing that happened to you during your first year in college?" After replying, "Having you approach me in a Speedo," I was able to get some pretty interesting answer. And that's what this newsletter is all about. THE SHOCK OF IT ALL. And yes, I'm kidding about the Speedo (it was actually a tight thong). Each week you'll find stories from college students and a link connecting you to The Naked Roommate forums where you can expose your own truths for the world to see and hear.

In addition to the Topic Of The Week (TOTW), each Naked Roommate Newletter will include a question and and answer from my Help Me, Harlan! advice column. My advice column appears in local daily and college newspapers all over the world. If you ever have any questions, take your mouse and roll it around www.helpmeharlan.com or post it in The Naked Roommate forums. One request -- if you read something and you have a thought, don't just keep it to yourself. Include it in the forums at The Naked Roommate forums. One more thing worth mentioning - if you come across an interesting story from your favorite newspaper or website, let me know. I'd like to include links to stories you think are worth sharing. And with that, enjoy this shocking issue of the nakedness.

Hold on, wait, if you like this thing, please forward it to a friend or two or three or a hundred. And feel free to check out my Facebook home and my my my my my myspace home.

THE STORY: In high school, what people did defined who they were. For example, having sex, drinking, or doing drugs made you a "bad." These are all things that a good girl (or guy) doesn't do. What was so suprising in college was seeing "good people" do things that were "bad," but "they" weren't "bad." What people did in college no longer seemed to define who they were. Seeing what other "good girls" were doing and seeing that actions no longer defined the person meant that I could do whatever I wanted and not be labeled "bad." This was shocking because it meant that I had a new freedom to do what I wanted -- it wasn't about what everyone else thought, but about what I wanted to do.

THE STORY: I was an athlete in high school. The first day, we wrote on the guy's bulletin board on his door to come over and say hi. The next thing we knew, a guy in short jean shorts and a pink shirt comes by. He immediately told us that he's gay. That was a bit of a culture shock. Later in the semester, he tried to borrow my ex's bra for a drag show.

THE STORY: I was pleasantly surprised that on a college with over 35,000 people, I’d always see someone that I knew when walking around campus. It could be someone from my sorority, the dorms, or my classes. I don't think there has been a single day when I haven't recognized someone. And I only knew 3 or 4 people when I got here.

THE STORY: There was someone who kept pooping in the washing machine. One girl washed her clothes with poop. We always checked after that.

THE STORY: I got here and realized there were people smarter than me. That was SHOCKING!

I'm now at 10,000 feet and climbing. The flight attendant just indicated that it’s okay for me to use approved electronic devices. So, I just reached down and whipped out my laptop to write my first blog entry. It was extremely important for me to wait to write my first blog entry after finishing my August tour. After visiting 16 colleges in 20 days I’ve seen, heard, and smelled things that shocked and surprised me. To help articulate this, I’ve broken it down into several shocking categories.

MOST SHOCKING SMELL: I kept thinking that I was the one who smelled, but after sniffing myself I discovered it wasn’t me. My hotel room had body odor. I was too tired to change rooms so I got used to it.

MOST SHOCKING TRAVEL MISHAP: NOTE TO SELF: Always roll up your jeans when wearing flip flops at 30,000 feet in an airplane lavatory otherwise bottoms of jeans will get wet.

MOST SHOCKING NEW TREND: While roommates having sex with another roommate in the room is nothing new, roommates having sex alone with their roommate (s) in the room is on the rise. Masturbating with roommates prsent in the room is a growing problem happening at an alarmning rate. More on the masturbating epidemic next issue.

MOST SHOCKING QUESTIONS ASKED DURING AN EVENT:
Question 1) Is it wrong to kiss two guys in one week, have sex with one, and then play the other shady since he didn't make it to home run 1st? Oh yeah, the one I played shady happened to be a good friend, the other guy was a co-worker.
Question 2) What do you do if on the first day, your roommate poops in her pants?
Question 3) Will Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson get back together?

MOST SHOCKING NEW STORE: WaWa. If you've been to Wawa, then you know all about Wawa. If you've never heard of Wawa, let me tell that that it will change your life. No one ever told me about Wawa. It’s like Whole Foods meets Trader Joes meets Subway meets a gas station. If traveling through PA, check it out.

MOST SHOCKING NEW TRAVEL SNACK: Chex Mix: Turtle flavor. A tremendous surprise in every bite.

MOST SHOCKING CRIME STILL HAPPENING ON CAMPUS: Sadly, rape continues to happen. Losers are still slipping roofies into drinks and just forcing sex. But let me say it again to all those who are rape survivors -- NO ONE EVER HAS A RIGHT TO DO THAT TO YOU. NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!

MOST SHOCKING NEW WAY TO JUDGE A STRANGER: Facebook. That's right, now you can decide if you don’t like someone before ever meeting that someone. Extremely efficient, but hardly accurate.

MOST SHOCKING ROOMMATE CONFLICT: It involved a Tommy Hilfiger jacket and something you strap on. This story was told to me by a former residence hall professional at UNC-Charlotte.

This week, I'm back on the road, headed to Sonoma State University in wine country and then The University of the Pacific. If you want any souvenirs, just let me know and I'll be happy to bring them back to you (note: I can't travel with anything that contains fluids -- that means no wine or souvenir snowglobes).

Dear Harlan,

This fall, two other girls and I will be living in a four- bedroom townhouse. We are all very excited about it. However, our fourth roommate has changed since we met her, and we don't get along anymore. We have not yet signed our housing contracts, but we do not know how to tell the fourth roommate that we don't want her to live with us. What should we do?

The Evictors

Dear Evictors

Give her a chance to clear up the confusion before ganging up on her and evicting her without warning (yes, so compassionate of you). If she's unwilling or unable to make this arrangement work, help her find other options. But really, give her a chance to know what's been happening. You might discover that she had no clue and/or she's been dealing with serious issues and could use the support of caring friends. Wouldn't that suck if you found out she had been dealing with a personal tragedy and no one asked her before kicking her to the curb? Typically, when someone's behavior changes this quickly, that person needs help. Try to help, then kick her out if she's unwilling or unable to change.