Honor
The Virginia Tech Victims
With Words And By Taking Action
Dear
Harlan,
What happened at Virginia Tech scares me to death, especially
since I will be a resident assistant next year. I feel so
much sadness for every victim and their families, and so much
anger toward the gunman. Several seasons ago, my favorite
show at the time, "One Tree Hill," had an episode with a school
shooting. I remember how outraged I was that a TV show would
use that for a plot. I stopped watching the show after viewing
that episode. Now those same feelings are coming back, especially
given how much publicity the news, Internet and newspaper
are giving the issue. At my college, we have a condolences
book we are signing for the students at VT. I could write
a book in there, but I know that's not enough. I wish there
was something I could do, but I don't even know what that
would be. I joined your Facebook group, but I was wondering
if there was something more that could be done to get the
message out there to stop parading the details and pictures
all over the place. Any suggestions?
College
Freshman in Missouri
Dear Freshman,
I'm sad on so many levels. I'm sad for the victim, the families,
the friends, the community and the mentally ill person who
thought this was a solution. I can only imagine how you and
everyone else who watched Columbine when you were 10 or 11
years old must be reacting. Traumatic events stir old emotions
and cause new ones to surface. And the very best way to deal
with this is NOT to suffer in silence and NOT to bury your
emotions. Instead, honor those who have lost their lives by
honoring your life and breaking the silence with words - not
weapons. Express yourself in the condolences book, write a
blog, journal, speak to a therapist on campus and talk to
friends, family, professionals, a spiritual leader, a teacher
and anyone else who will listen. Along with words, take action.
In addition to participating in my Facebook group (readers
can find a link and blog entry at: www.nakedroommate.com),
think about reaching out to other students who might be suffering
in silence. Think about assembling a group to target bullying.
I love the idea of starting a "Students United Against Bullies
and Bullying." I'll join. I'll even be the president. The
mission of SUABB: Stop the alienation and abuse of fellow
students, and make bullying uncool. As for filling the role
of resident assistant, fortunately you're surrounded by a
staff and experienced RAs who can support you and guide you.
Turn to them. Let them help you get comfortable. And continue
to honor the victims by taking care of yourself while taking
care of those around you.
