Vomiting
Boyfriend Makes For a Big Mess
Dear
Harlan,
The other night, my boyfriend and his friends decided to play
beer pong, and I joined in. When his friends left his place,
he decided to finish the keg - 12 or so beers - by himself.
I pulled him aside and asked him to stop and not to drink
so much that he throws up. I also mentioned that he can be
kind of a jerk when he drinks. Almost two hours later, when
he hadn't shown up at my place and I tried calling him, he
answered but hung up on me repeatedly. At 4 a.m., I woke up
to see him slumped over, throwing up on my floor. I was irritated
because I'd spent the day cleaning my room - vacuuming, washing,
etc. In the morning, I asked if he would mind cleaning up
the mess he'd left on the carpet; he had no recollection of
throwing up on my floor and didn't feel like cleaning. When
I went into the bathroom, I found thrown up beer all over
the sink, which he also didn't remember and didn't clean.
This is the second time he has thrown up everywhere - a couple
months ago, he threw up all over my bathroom, and I had to
clean it up. He felt terrible afterward and took me out to
a nice dinner and gave up alcohol for a month because he was
afraid he was addicted. Now I am sitting in class unsure of
what to do. Was he out of line? Does he owe me an apology
or do I owe him one?
Troubled Girlfriend
Dear
Troubled,
You
owe him nothing.
Quick Question: What are you willing to tolerate? His likely
alcohol addiction belongs to him, not you. It's reasonable
to tell him that the next time he vomits on your floors will
be the last time, because you won't stick around. In the meantime,
surround yourself with people who will support you emotionally
in case he can't meet your expectations (and you're not expecting
much). Three last bits of advice: 1)
Never doubt yourself; 2) Never play beer pong with a boyfriend
who drinks too much; and 3) Always videotape the vomit (on
your phone is easiest) before cleaning it, in case he forgets.
