Teenage
Virgin Wrestles With Sexual Urges
Dear
Harlan,
I am 17, and I just started attending college. I am proud
to say that I made it through high school and stayed a virgin.
I know plenty about contraceptives, mistakes, love partners,
feelings and all that. It's just that the urges I used to
get back then are very much stronger now, and I feel like
I am ready to have sex now more than ever. I cannot stop thinking
about it - at all! I am waiting for that special someone,
but I just want something more, I guess, to satisfy me, yet
I want to stay a virgin until the right time. Help me out.
Impatient Virgin
Dear
Impatient Virgin,
The truth - it's easier to have sex in college than to not
have sex. There will always be someone who's drunk enough,
desperate enough or lonely enough to be with you. As for the
right time, that has to be your call. Keeping
the following in mind,you can still be creative sexually with
yourself or a partner and hang onto your virginity. Here's
when NOT to let let it go.
- When it's
with someone who doesn't listen to you, respect you or
trust you.
- When you
can't talk to your partner about anything on your mind
before sex,
during sex or after sex.
- While you
or your partner is drunk or high.
- When sex
is about getting someone to like you.
- When you
can't discuss a partner's sexual history.
- When you
don't know the person's first and last name
- When you
can't ask your partner to get tested for HIV, chlamydia
and other sexual souvenirs.
- When you
don't think the sex will be available tomorrow, so you
have it today
while it's available.
- When you
have sex because your friends are having sex, and you
don't want to
be the only virgin.
- When you
don't have birth control - assuming you don't want to
make a baby (even condoms aren't 100 percent effective
against birth control and STDs).
- While ANY
kind of pressure.
