Abandoning
Spouse Who Abuses Porn
Isn't Very Christian
Dear
Harlan,
In the letter from "Working,"
she describes her husband's relationship with pornography
as a "problem." A real "Christian with rather strict moral
convictions" would take her wedding vows more seriously. What
part of "in sickness and in health ... until death do us part"
does Working not understand? If it is that - a sickness -
surely she believes it is a sickness in the same vein as alcoholism.
Working owes it to herself to work with her husband on this,
and not treat him like a child by locking him out of the computer.
Porn, just like alcohol, is everywhere. If he is to overcome
this "problem," the root cause needs to be addressed.
Brian in Minneapolis
Dear Brian in Minneapolis,
I respectfully disagree. If someone is physically abusive
because of a sickness like alcoholism, a partner (and the
family) shouldn't be expected to absorb the abuse because
of wedding vows. Similarly, if someone feels that he or she
is being emotionally abused or at risk because of pornography
or a sex addiction, that person shouldn't be expected to quietly
take it in the name of wedding vows. Loving, respecting and
honoring a partner (also part of the wedding vows) doesn't
mean tolerating physical and/or emotional abuse. Of course,
"Working" and anyone else with an abusive partner should consult
his or her spiritual leader for guidance.
