Facing
10 Percent Of Life Can Free Up
100 Percent Of Addiction
Dear
Harlan,
I'm an addict. When I started college, it was drinking - at
first I drank to be social and make friends. Then I became
the all-around drinking-game queen, which left my life in
shambles. My best friend/roommate hounded me about my problem,
causing me to seek sleep in my car. That or I would simply
make sure whoever I drank with that night knew I would be
sleeping on his or her floor. Two years ago, I met a boy who
smoked weed, and somehow I made that magical transition from
alcoholic to daily stoner. Needless to say, I'm starting year
five of my degree, and realizing I might graduate next summer.
I want to get a handle on this. Please don't recommend medication,
simply because I've tried it all, starting in childhood. What
can I do to conquer this fear and anxiety toward life?
Addicted
Dear Addicted,
Here's another way of looking at this:
Life, for the most part, is 90 percent amazing and 10 percent
not so amazing (this can fluctuate at times). Not being able
to face the 10 percent can take up 100 percent of your time.
If you look at it like this, an addiction is often a byproduct
of one's inability to cope with the 10 percent - alcohol,
gambling, food and sex are all coping mechanisms to hide from
the 10 percent. But by simply recognizing that there is an
unpleasant 10 percent of life that can't avoided, you can
embrace that fact, face it and start to get comfortable with
it. Once you get comfortable with the uncomfortable, you will
stop running and living in fear, and thus, stop feeding your
addiction.
So, give yourself the greatest gift this year in college and
surround yourself with people who can help you face the 10
percent. Take advantage of the therapy available, and work
on getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. If medication
might help, you might want to reconsider taking it. The bottom
line: The moment you face the world and embrace the imperfection
that is part of life is the moment the world becomes a much
more forgiving place to live.
