Self-Injurer
Causes Pain to Cover Up
The Real Pain
Dear
Harlan,
I've been SI'ing (self-injuring) for more than a year now.
I started when I went to a "real" middle school in the seventh
grade. When I'm sad, I hurt myself with whatever I have available:
razor blades, wires, paper clips, chain-link fencing or bolts,
and I've even resorted to scraping my forearm against the
edge on the toilet-paper dispenser in a public restroom. Problem
is, logically, I guess I know that it's not that great of
a thing to do to myself, but I don't think I really want to
stop. A) I've yet to find a better coping strategy (and I've
tried almost everything), and B) it's my body, and I have
the right to do whatever I want to it. The way I see it, it's
not all that different from tattoos, piercing, branding or
other forms of "body modification." My mom found out I do
it, but aside from telling me to stop, she never really did
anything about it. The few friends that know don't really
care. I don't want to go to a psychiatrist, since that would
mean talking to my mom about it, and they're not all that
helpful. Any advice?
Coping
Dear Coping,
I hear you - it's not that you want to hurt yourself; it's
about removing yourself from the emotional pain of the moment.
And the physical pain does it. It's the same reason a drug
addict takes a hit, an alcoholic a shot, an overeater another
bite - it's about coping. But when coping with emotional pain
means inflicting physical pain, you're still left in pain,
and that's not coping. Not only can you accidentally kill
yourself by cutting too deep, it's disrespectful of your body.
Before this takes over your life (and it can), get help establishing
new coping strategies. Tell your mom you need someone to talk
to (you don't need to get into details). If the first doctor
isn't any good, keep trying and trying. Life shouldn't be
about creating new pain to hide from other pain.
