Wife Loses Battle to Her Husband's Porn
Dear
Harlan,
I'm recently married, and I'm having a problem with my husband
and porn. He's always buying adult DVDs and subscribes to
adult channels at home. I've hidden his Playboys and put an
adult lock on the TV, and I still have about 40 X-rated DVDs
in the trunk of my car that I'm trying to figure out what
to do with. I let him know that I'd watch it with him and
role play if that's what it would take, but he still is doing
this behind my back. Sometimes it seems like he can't wait
for me to leave the house so he can be with himself. If he
wouldn't lie and hide it, I might understand, but this is
eating away at me. Please respond.
Hiding
the Porn
Dear Hiding the Porn,
No woman can physically hide all porn from her man. It's beamed,
streamed, sold and consumed everywhere. All you can do is
open his eyes and help him see that this addiction is tearing
you apart. And yes, the hiding, lying and sneaking are all
warning signs of addiction. If you're a reader of this column,
you know we've been down the porn road before. So, instead
of serving up the Sex Addicts Anonymous Web site (www.sexaa.org)
and recommending couples counseling and books by Patrick Carnes,
I want to appeal to those who have been where you're heading.
My question: How did YOU, the women and men who have been
burned by porn, get through to your boyfriends, girlfriends,
husbands and wives? What did you say or do that helped your
partner see that "a little porn" was too much porn? Send your
stories to: harlan@helpmeharlan (subject: "Porn problem")
or visit helpmeharlan.com.
