Smart
Professors Know That Even The
Smartest Students Ask Dumb Questions
Dear
Harlan,
I often want to talk to professors about intellectual ideas,
but I find myself clamming up and feeling extremely vulnerable
when I go to talk to that person. I'm OK in class and in a
lot of social situations, but then I go to talk to a professor,
and it seems like I'm hypervigilant and looking for any sign
that the person doesn't really want to hear my question and
discuss it. I wind up leaving professors' offices without
asking the questions that are really on my mind. So I retreat
to sending e-mails instead. I know e-mails aren't as good
as, or as satisfying as, face-to-face conversations, so I
try to do the face-to-face thing, but then I clam up. It feels
so stupid - all I'm doing is talking about intellectual things,
not personal stuff. Yet it feels like I'm talking about personal
stuff in the way that I feel like I'm taking a risk in opening
myself up to the other person intellectually. It's really
making it hard for me to get the mentoring I need in graduate
school. I love what I'm doing in graduate school, but I really
could use some mentoring to help keep me moving toward my
goals.
Need
Help
Dear
Need Help,
Unless
you get the dumb things out, the smart stuff won't be able
to get out either. See, it's like your intellectual plumbing
gets clogged. If students knew everything, there would be
no need for professors. And it's the students who know the
least who are the most valuable for professors, so talk to
them. If your professor makes you feel like you're stupid,
tell your professor that the way he or she responded made
you uncomfortable. Then tell him or her how you get intimidated
when approaching but you want to have a good relationship.
Once your fear is out in the open, you'll be able to talk
freely. If you find that your professor is a totally insensitive
SOB, find another student or someone else in the department
to help.
