Woman
Can't Compete With Her Fiance's
Deceased Girlfriend
Dear
Harlan,
My fiance says he loves me. He had a girlfriend who was killed,
and he says he also loves her. Is it possible for him to love
the both of us?
Engaged
Dear Engaged,
Loving you and loving the memory of her aren't incompatible
with each other. Where the conflict might be is if you feel
like you'll never be as good as her. Her memory is not something
that you can compete with or should feel the need to compete
with. If you're feeling this way, I'd bet your relationship
might be more of an oasis from the pain of his past than about
building a future together. And that's a conversation you
need to have with him.
