Dating
A Former Teacher
Can Be Fun, Until Teacher Follows
Former Student To College
Dear
Harlan,
I'm
20, and I'm currently in a long-term relationship with a man
a little over 40. He is my ex-teacher, and I had known him
for about 3 years as a friend before we started a more-intimate
relationship (after I was no longer his student). The age
difference and my inexperience in dating (I had had one previous
boyfriend) make me anxious about the future. I worry that
if we stay together, he will reach old age when I am middle-aged.
I also worry about my own maturity and development. Also,
things will become more complicated, as he just got a job
at the college I am attending (he needed to find a closer
location to cut out the hours spent commuting). How do you
think his peers and mine will respond to knowledge of our
relationship?
Slightly Worried
Dear
Slightly Worried,
He's
old and wise; you're young and not as wise. The risk is that
as you get older and wiser, he'll just get old.
Given
that this is your first serious relationship, there's not
a lot of competition for it to be your BEST. So do yourself
and your peers (who will think this is totally wrong) a favor:
Listen to yourself. DO NOT RUSH INTO ANYTHING. He might know
what he wants, but you need years to figure it out. If you
do continue seeing him, make sure he's only part of your life,
not your entire life. Don't move in together. Don't get engaged.
Have friends. Discover other passions. Find some balance.
Your 20s are about figuring out who you are. Let time and
experiences in college be your teacher - not him.
