Girlfriend
Can't Stand
Boyfriend's Creepy Female Friend
Dear Harlan,
My boyfriend of almost two years has a female friend who is single.
She is not fond of me, so she constantly invites him for lunches
and dinners alone. He doesn't think anything is wrong with this.
I know there is no romance, but I feel she does not respect me.
She is depressed and does not hold on to relationships for very
long. My boyfriend's birthday was a few weeks ago, and I arranged
a large dinner (12 people) for his friends, including her.
Yesterday, he announced to me that she wanted to give him his
birthday gift (a DVD movie) and celebrate again with him. She
invited him over to her apartment for dinner and to watch the
movie that she gave him. We are all in our late 20s. I feel this
is childish behavior. I am at a loss at how to respond to this
situation without anger.
Irritated
Girlfriend
Dear
Irritated,
There's no rule that says that a significant other can't be friends
with a person of the opposite sex who dislikes you. And she has
good reason to not like you. You're the one with her man, and
that makes you not all that likable.
The problem isn't that she dislikes you, but rather that she's
giving him a gift and making him use it with her (I hate that).
It could have been worse -- she could have given him massage oils
and a mattress (to be used only at her place). Sure, it's uncomfortable,
and yes, you have every right to express your disgust and discomfort
with him. But avoid forbidding him to see her. She might be acting
childish, but think twice before you throw a temper tantrum.
