Entry
#121
Rejection Diary
The
Odd Friend Out
Hey
Harlan,
I
think my two close friends are excluding me. They always know
what the other is talking about and don't clue me in. They walk
and talk to each other about something that I don't know about
because obviously they don't feel as if I'm important enough to
be told. Whenever I say I like something, they don't like it,
or if I like someone, they'll put him down. I don't feel like
they want me around them anymore. I think I'm just a tagalong,
pathetic puppy. I feel really upset and excluded. I need some
advice. Can you help?
Third
Wheel
Dear
Third Wheel,
Two
things to do: Find new friends and give the friends you already
have permission to not always be your best friend. I'm not saying
that you should give them permission to disrespect you (never).
It's just that you can't always be the best friend in a three-person
friendship. Once you can appreciate this, you can relieve some
of the pressure and not feel so hurt when you're not the best
friend. Then you can bring up the things that bother you without
feeling as defensive or uncomfortable. The other thing you can
do is find more friends. The more friends you have, the more options
you have. The more options you have, the less you have to put
up with friends who treat you poorly or put pressure on you to
do things you don't want to do. There are plenty of other "wheels"
waiting to hang out with you.
