Entry
#119
Rejection Diary
CHEATED
Dear
Harlan,
I am crying my eyes out as I write this. I just broke up with
another boyfriend because people kept telling me that he was cheating,
and his attention for me seemed to lessen. When I broke up with
him, he seemed shocked and upset. Now I don't know if I did the
right thing. We have had trust issues in the past, too. I can't
trust anyone. I have already been cheated on four times. I feel
like I must not be good enough for a guy to be with just me. I'm
told that I'm beautiful, funny and sweet. And I think I am a pretty
good girlfriend. There have been so many times where I have dropped
everything I was doing just for a guy. What I am doing wrong?
I just want one person in my life to love me and care about me.
Is that so much to ask for?
Always
Hurting
Dear
Hurting,
I wish I could hand you a tissue (crumble this column enough times
and it will become like a tissue). No, it's not too much to ask.
And no, you are NEVER to blame for someone's cheating. Not all
of us cheat; I've never cheated. My closest friends have never
cheated. There are good guys. Here are three suggestions to find
them. 1) Make it a rule to only date guys without a history of
cheating (hint: guys who are friends with their exes tend not
to have cheated). 2) Go slow. Fast is always more dangerous. 3)
Drop some things, but NEVER everything for a guy. A guy needs
to work hard to keep an independent, self-sufficient woman. The
harder he works, the more invested he becomes. The more invested,
the more you can trust him. Take a break from dating. Get back
to knowing that you're beautiful. Then take a risk. Your guy is
out there.
