Entry #110
REJECTION DIARY:
Friendly Regretful
Rejection
Dear
Harlan,
I'm a young woman having a great deal of trouble moving on from
a broken friendship. We were close friends for about two years,
but the last six months had a few ups and downs. We stopped talking.
Our final communication was her telling me what she disliked about
me and then cutting off contact. I have considered calling, e-mailing
or visiting her, as I know she doesn't have an easy life. Part
of me still wishes to be there for her, but I'm held back by not
wanting to encounter an ugly situation. There are many things
I wish I had said to her. I miss her, despite the things she said.
Should I risk opening a can of worms to tell her how I'm feeling?
Or how can I move on from this?
Feeling Lonely
Dear
Feeling Lonely,
There are two kinds of friends: those who criticize you because
it makes them feel better to see you hurt, and those who criticize
because they're trying to help.
For example, when a good friend sees a friend wearing jeans that
are way too tight, the good friend privately tells her: "Those
aren't the most flattering. They're a little too tight." On the
other hand, the bad friend tells everyone else first and then,
finally, tells the close friend: "Those are jeans? I thought they
were denim tights. Did the lights go out or do your mirrors not
work? You've never looked worse!" If your estranged friend was
genuinely trying to help, and you couldn't handle the honest truth,
get back in touch with her. If she was trying to hurt you, forget
her and find a better friend.
