Entry #107
REJECTION DIARY:
The Sounds of RBS (Rejection By Silence)
Dear Harlan,
What
does it mean when a woman turns totally silent on a man? Is silence
used as a way of breaking up?
Sounds of Silence
Dear
Sounds of Silence,
It
could mean her windpipe is blocked (especially if she's silent
over a steak dinner and wildly pointing to her mouth). She could
have laryngitis. Or she could be breaking up with you and is too
inconsiderate to tell you.
Rejection By Silence, aka RBS, is one of the most common forms
of rejection around. RBS is typically associated with one person's
loss of interest due to the normal dating processes or some unknown,
related reason (an ex, personal tragedy, being gay). The greatest
offenders tend to see RBS as a nice, kind and sweet way to end
things. In reality, it's cowardly and rude. It wastes the rejectee's
time, breeds insecurity and offers the rejectee nothing to learn
from for use in future relationships. If you're curious, call
her. Do it with a smile. Say something to the effect of, "I hadn't
heard from you and wanted to make sure you were all right." If
she's not ill, follow up with, "I'm glad you're well - I just
wanted to make sure." If she wants to talk more, great. If not,
say good-bye. Should you leave a message or send her an e-mail
and it goes unanswered, assume that it's RBS, and don't make any
more noise.
