Entry
#100
REJECTION DIARY:
Boyfriend Flips Out When
Girlfriend Flirts - With Him
Dear
Harlan,
I am 21, and my boyfriend of one year is 22. We rent a house together
and have two dogs. I love him with all my heart. The problem is
only when I flirt with him or make a pass at him. He straight
turns me away and even gets mad at me, but whenever he's making
the move, it's another story. Just the other day, we had a friend
over for a campfire, beers, etc., and I started to flirt with
him, but he just scolded me, telling me how he was "NOT IN THE
MOOD." This hurts me and makes me feel very sad, as if something
is wrong. In the past year, I have just learned not to even bother
and to just wait around for whenever he IS "in the mood." I don't
know if I should continue like this or if I am wrong for feeling
rejected.
Rejected
Dear
Rejected,
That must have been one cold campfire.
My reaction to his reaction is that it sounds like he might have
experienced some kind of trauma involving intimacy in the past.
That's not an excuse for him to scold you or make you feel bad,
but it opens up a new way of approaching him. Find a nonromantic
moment (no fires) and ask him the best way to approach him when
you're "in the mood." If he opens up, great. If not, ask him why
it's so uncomfortable for him to talk about this. Then explain
how this lack of communication leads to a lack of understanding
and a lot of hurt feelings. If this doesn't spark concern from
him, consider moving camps and finding a new flame.
