Entry
#90
REJECTION DIARY:
Really, Rejection Can Be Kind
Dear Harlan,
I'm trying to reject a boy, but don't want to be cruel. I'm 21,
and have been dating my boyfriend for four years. He's not the
problem. My problem is a boy I met, befriended and briefly dated
in high school. We "dated" for a few months, which involved me
letting him kiss me, and then I broke it off. It destroyed our
friendship, which I desperately regretted. Four years later, after
attending the same college and hating the hell out of one another,
he congenially approached me. We exchanged phone numbers and have
since met twice. The first time he tried to kiss me. I turned
my head. He then called again, at which time I emphasized we could
only have a FRIENDSHIP. We met again at a bar near my place. After
arguing about him driving home after drinking, he became verbally
abusive, mentioning that I turned him down three times.
My boyfriend thinks this boy is an imbecile and that I'm wasting
my time. I want to believe that I can get this boy to quit being
infatuated with me. I am slightly afraid that if I don't undo
whatever sizzle he thinks exists between us, I'll have a semi-stalker
for the rest of my life. How do I fix this?
Not
Wanting a Stalker
Dear
Not Wanting,
Stop trying to wrap a pretty bow around an ugly friendship. This
is as pretty as it's going to get. Compassion in this situation
means cutting off all communication. This protects you from a
possible stalker, and it helps him to move on with his life. There's
nothing more to say to him. He wants a girlfriend, not a friend.
Leave it alone. Hope he leaves you alone. The happiest ending
would be NEVER hearing from him again.
