Escape Abusive Boyfriend
Dear Harlan,
I have been going out with my boyfriend for three years. Five months ago, he asked me to move out of my parents' place and in with him. Even though my family was against this, we are living together now. Not only does he not help at home, he has started hitting me and not letting me come home. He says "Here is not your home, and I can prove it to you by not letting you in, since the apartment is under my name" (but we each pay half for everything). Whenever he hits me, he says it is not only not his fault, it is me who made him hit me. I feel like I don't have a home anymore. I cannot go back to my parents; they don't talk to me. I've lost all my self-esteem. I feel so bad. I have no hope for my future. I am lost. What should I do?
Very Alone
13 Comments:
Dear Very Alone, We all make mistakes. He gave you every reason in the world to trust him. Then, when he had you in a vulnerable place, he tightened his abusive grip. He doesn't love you; he loves abusing and controlling you. But your family loves you. They love you so much that they don't know what to do other than shut you out. (They thought that was the best choice.) Tell them that you made a mistake. Give yourself permission to be wrong. You need people who want to protect you. Even if your parents say, "Told you so," it's better than "You made me hit you, b**ch." Get away from him - now!
P.S. Once you leave, he will probably do everything he can to get you back, but it's only so that he can continue to control and abuse you. For additional support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE. - Harlan
I agree with Harlan.
No matter what your family have said in the past, they DO love you and will look after you when you most need it - trust me I know!
Leave this loser of a boyfriend, get back to the safety of your family, and start a-fresh. And don't let him fool you, he only wants one thing.
All the best
don't do it girl trust me am a guy i know what you're goimg through l;isten to me I can give you some advice
so it's like I publish a newspaper but nobody listens to me
what those he want I hope non of this because I got something for his punk ass
r u from Indiana
babe girl taklk to me
leave now!!!!...you deserve better...your family will be there for you(i promise)...love yourself...his abuse won't stop...i know this is harsh but, be a strong women...this is NOT what you want...check this out: no one has the right to put their hands on anyone.
he will be back...get a restraining order DO NOT return his calls or see him...i know this is hard when you are in the situation but time will pass and you will meet someone who will RESPECT you...so start by respecting yourself.
take care...see out side the box...you WILL meet someone else...AND get yourself some professional help...and most importantly DO NOT blame yourself...it is NO WAY your fault!
They always say that you truly do not know what someone is like until you live with them. Unfortunately you have now discovered this out. As far as your family goes they are just hurt. They are let down that you chose someone else over them. Do not worry though they are family and you need to just talk to them. We all make mistakes and we all hurt our loved ones feelings at one point or another. The best thing you can do is talk to your family let them know how you are feeling. It may take time but they will come along. As far as the boy friend you need to move on. It is okay. You are not the first persone to go through this. Be strong and believe that you will make it through this.
Very alone:
I have been where you are now. And yes, everytime I found the courage to put my foot down, he swore it would be different. We married, and the relationship was still stormy. We had two children and they heard and saw "domestic" interactions that I am horrified to think of now. I finally divorced him when I was working full-time, taking care of the kids full-time, and he was out sleeping with someone else and spending the money I earned on her. Run, run, run from this relationship. This man is all about control because he is so very insecure. It's not your job to fix him - it's HIS, and he probably will never see that as necessary because he doesn't see anything wrong with his abusive behavior. Your parents love you and will help you through this. Learn from it, and never, ever let a man treat you like this again.
Been there, done that.
stop,
no one deservies to be hit.
stay strong./all the woman in the world have back.we promise.
I will be blunt, if you dont leave, he will probably kill you. I have a lot of experience with cases of domestic violence, believe me you dont want to be a statistic. Call the hotline, get help and get out!
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