Self-Doubt Lingers Even After The Abusive Relationship Ends

Dear Harlan,
I started dating a guy six months ago. Two weeks after we met, he went into the National Guard for six months of training (in another state). At first, I was scared to start a relationship because I had previously been in a very abusive relationship while in graduate school. I told him it might take me a while to trust anyone, but I fell in love. My guy began writing letters saying how much he loved me and wanted to start a life together when he gets back (in August). We were planning to wait for each other until he returned, but recently we had a fight. He was frustrated and felt like he had to "prove to me that he loved me." We have not talked for almost a month. I feel terrible. I blame myself for this. I am so mad at myself and hurt. I don't want my previous abusive relationship to haunt me. I want to learn to love again.

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