Men Like Women With Genital Warts
Dear Harlan,
I'm 24, and I've prided myself on being a good person - up until a year ago. That's when my doctor told me I had genital warts. I told my boyfriend, with the assumption that he had given them to me (although we have protected sex). He went to the doctor, but he didn't have them. I then realized that I must have contracted them from a past partner with whom I had unprotected sex (it happened three times). I went to the doctor to get a full blood screening for everything, including HIV. I also had my annual pap. The tests came back clean. After a spell of trouble at work and a deep depression with suicidal thoughts, I sought therapy, and things got better. Eight months after we worked it all out, my boyfriend told me that he was falling out of love with me.
It's now been nine months since we broke up, and I don't know how to go on. I've been on one date since then, and I just can't seem to get close to anyone because I'm too afraid that they would leave me once they found out about my situation.
Down and Out But Living
9 Comments:
Dear Down and Out,
Seriously, there are millions of good people with the human papillomavirus (the virus that causes genital warts) who are living happy, healthy and loving lives. There are good people all around you with HPV. No one wants it, but according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, at least 50 percent of sexually active men and women acquire a genital HPV infection at some point in their lives (many don't see the symptoms). Other than having to tell a future partner and getting an annual or semi-annual pap to monitor cell abnormalities (human papillomavirus can be a precursor to cervical cancer), life shouldn't change all that much. If you still can't see this, seek out an HPV support group and talk to good people who have been through this. To find a support group, visit the American Social Health Association Web site: www.ashastd.org/hpvccrc/.
For additional questions about HPV contact the CDC National STD and Aids Hotline at 1-800-227-8922.
- Harlan
Dear Harlan,
I just read the letter from "Down and Out But Living," the young lady who has genital warts. I just want her to know that she is not alone. In high school, I made some poor choices and contracted the same virus. I have now been married for almost eight years and have given birth to three beautiful children, including a set of twins. This disease has not had any effect on my daily life, and my husband doesn't love me any less. Please let Down and Out know that this is not a death sentence for love and marriage; she can still find Mr. Right and live happily ever after.
Living Life as Usual in San Diego
I have had genital warts for almost 10 years. If you take care of yourself, and have an honest relationship with your partner, it won't hinder you at all. Don't panic. I was depressed for over a year after I found out, and I thought I'd never find a boyfriend who would love me, but that was wrong. Ten years later, I'm in a happy, loving (and sexual) relationship.
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I wanted to respond to the letter from Down and Out. As you noted, HPV is a very common STD if not the most common in the United States. I, too, am 24 and have HPV, or genital warts. I've had it for five years. I also haven't had any symptoms in five years, but since it is a virus, I am obliged to tell my partners before having sex with them.
Life does improve. . .the first year or so after I contracted it I was very depressed, and my life is much better now. But, your advice to Down and Out was to understand that life isn't all that different. It is. It is a very common disease, but it still scares people, and even though I have had boyfriends who have accepted me despite the STD, the majority of men who've known the truth about me didn't want to deal with that. So, you see, life is very different. Many people don't want to be involved with a person who has a viral STD. That is the conclusion I have come to. . .if you have proof otherwise, please inform.
Hey girl. Don't be depressed or upset about HPV, like everyone has already said, it's nothing to worry about. People live for decades with it (like one of the other people who responded to your query) with no symptoms, no bothers at all. Yeah, you have to tell every partner from now on, but at least you have the comfort of knowing that any guy who turns you away for THAT, wasn't worth sharing your body with anyway. My boyfriend told me he had HPV on our second date, and i didn't even bat an eye. He is so much more important to me than that. We have unprotected sex (we're monogamous and living together) so i'm sure i have it, just no abnormal pap smear yet. Trust me honey, you'll find a man who's worth the effort to you too. It's a good way to weed out the shallow ones actually. ;-)
Have any of you tried this medication yet?
http://www.wartcream.com/index.html
Love i think you are a star, well done for putting the terrible time behind you. i went through depression and i know its the hardest thing to cope, and get over. your ex is a loser so he left you so what? move on prove to your ex that your stronger and alot better than he'll ever be. Get on with your life, get a new hair cut buy some new clothes you should treat yourself because you won a fight against everything that the world throw at you. well done!! i dont even know you but reading your story makes me so proud :-)
I too had ginal warts that appeared after my kidneys failed and I had been plaecd on dialysis and chemotherapy for lupus nephritits (I have some luck). I was distraught for a year, but then my GYN (the best midwife in the world) found this site www.amoils.com. they sell essential oils for juet about every bug and critter known to woman and man...It was the ONLY THING THT WORKED. They have been gone foe over a year now...I had some internal ones too and I just put some on a q-tip and inserted it and they went away too...The only one that required intervention was on in my urethra where the oil kept getting peed off...I got 4 cryotreatments for that one and it was gone too. I was nervous for awhile after I got rid of them..I felt gross and traumatized...I can't say that I have a healthy sexual relationship right now (my boyfriend is a porn addict and is not i nterested i n sex), but I feel better about my vagina and I have a lovely set of toys from goodvibes to prove it.
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